When a dear friend of me told me that her dad had died, I didn’t hesitate to ask her if she would like me to stay with her for a few days…
This friend actually used to be a friend of my mother. Although they had lost contact, they found each other back at the end of my mom’s life and at that point, I started to get involved in her friends life as well.
At this point I can say that she’s a friend of mine as well… I would even say, it even feels like a dear aunt. She sometimes even refers to me as ‘the oldest daughter that come to visit once in a while’. So this dear friend, or family member, lost her father. As she is almost like family to me, it is only naturally that I would like to be there for her and her eight year old daughter.
The dead of her dad, was something that was already coming for while now, because he was already an older man, living in a nursing home and losing control of his body and mind. It’s always sad to see something like that happen to a loved one. More even, it is hard to deal with. Over the years his mind and body gave up more an more of their functions. He was not the man any more, that she looked up to and once was her father.
My friend gladly took me up on my offer and said she would love it if I would stay with her and her daughter for a few days. So I did…
I came on the night of the farewell. After this moment of final goodbye, the next day at the funeral people good pay their final respect to the deceased. A single unwrapped rose could be given at his grave to show this respect.
It was a wonderful day and a beautiful service about the deceased and the life he led, together with his wife, children and grandchildren. I got an overview of the life that he had been living. My friend held a speech as well, filled with memories about a fully lived life. All these stories, speeches and memories gave me a good impression of the man he had been, since I didn’t get to know him until he already was a man of age, slowly losing grip of his own body and mind. Now I got to know the other and better part of his life as well. How he grew up in war, how his father died at a young age, how he found his goal in life and how he lived a happy life with his wife and children.
After the service and funeral, the condolences could be given at a restaurant. The man liked the joy of life, including a glass of wine. So this part of his life was honoured by his family. With finger-food and wine, memories were brought to life. This was a moment of remembering, not only the sad, but especially the many good stories of his life…
Remember people that have lived before us… Every life is precious and should be honoured.
My friend and I still had two days left after that… It was good to be there. I helped when I could, listened when she wanted to talk and held her when she needed a hug. We talked about the past the present and the future and were glad to have someone to share all of this with…
I left my friend, knowing she would be alright. She lost her dad, so she would miss him. But in fact, the last years he was mostly suffering. Now his suffering was over, she didn’t have to feel the pain of that anymore. He was now out of pain and she had accepted this to be the best. I left. It was good to be there…
The story I'm living... 